Auburn’s Heat

I was in Birmingham yesterday for the SEC Media days representing Southern Fried.  (ok, i went to an auction and had nothing to do with Media Days but what i said is a much better introduction)

Before I get to the NCAA heating up on the Barn I wanted to say I did get a chance to speak with Jack Arute on his nationally syndicated show on xm for about 5 minutes discussing Georgia Football. (what a lame ass i am.. my high light is making it on a talk show and sounding like some loser douche bag – GFY, you are still jealous of me) 

Now on to the Barn.  Now I hate to bring this up a couple of days before Pepper gets married but fuck him. 

(where is Cam sitting in this Picture Starrett)

Danny Sheridan is a very creditable journalist and doesn’t just say things to make head lines.   Here is a couple of quotes and then I will paraphrase what I heard over the entire conversation. 

Sheridan ‘NCAA’s investigation into AU has been revved up since Chizik’s encounter in Destin’

Sheridan ‘As I understand it, the NCAA is trying to get an alleged 3rd person, or bag man, to come forward’

Sheridan ‘The investigation on Cam Newton is centered on his recruitment to AU. MSU is not a factor at all’

Sheridan ‘If the dots get connected, major sanctions will follow – vacation of Heisman and Nation Championship’

Sheridan ‘They think they know the third party and Who put up the money’

Now I spoke with Jody last night and he was listening also so Jody, please comment if you ‘heard’ something different than i did and you don’t agree with my paraphrasing. 

The NCAA knows that Cecil Newton got paid and they feel very sure they know who paid him and they even think they know who paid the 3rd party person from Auburn – all they need to do is connect all the dots and cement some things and the Burn will be F. U. C. K. E. D.  Fucked. 

Auburn fans have two ways to go about this IF and when it goes down..  and I will refer to these methods as who they were named after -

#1) The Pepper Method.  Be so in denial that you look for every possible reason that maybe, just maybe, Auburn will be found innocent…  Justify everything with something that you have found or something that makes you feel better.  Ignore every allegation and every indication that Auburn is going to get caught.  Remember, if you choose the ‘Pepper’ Method that you have to be very delusional, that is key for this method.  Also it doesn’t hurt to be very defensive and go straight to ‘attack’ when discussing anything Auburn. 

#2) The Anthony Method.  Also referred to as ‘The Fuck It’ Method.  When going this route it is easier to be a huge fucking red neck but not a must.  The biggest thing here is knowing deep down inside that Auburn was the best Team in College football and beat everybody they played.  Doesn’t matter what the NCAA does, you can’t take away the feeling you had when that ball went through the up-rights to win it all.   It also helps to be able to say, ‘I was there! so go fuck yourself’  - also it helps to ask, ‘you think your school aint paying no body? fuck you’  again, it isn’t a must to be Copenhagen dippin natural light drinkin mustang drivin don’t give a fuck red neck, but it really helps.