Southern Fried’s most Hated list

This is a list of people that this blog hates the most.  These people are affiliated with sports somehow.  Either they play, they coach, they own, they broadcast, or you see them at the games ie Jack at the Lakers game.  I would like this list to be like most of the things on Southern Fried and to represent this blog, it’s bloggers, and it’s readers.  So I am looking for comments here.  Likes, Dislikes, suggestions, etc..  So lets get started. 

Lou Holtz – Stroke face himself.  He makes absolutely no sense I would rather put my dick in a meat grinder than listen to him speak.  His bullshit pregame speeches on ESPN make me cringe and I pray that one of his magic tricks is to make himself disappear.   

Steven A Smith – THUG!!  How this guy has a radio show I will never know.  If you don’t speak ebonics then don’t try and listen because you will be clueless as to what is going on. 

Barry Bonds – Not because of the steroids.  Not because of the tax evasion.  Not because of the mistress.  Ok, maybe a little bit of this stuff or maybe all of it collectively but Barry Bonds is the most unapproachable person in sports and he has no right to be.

Tiger Woods – I put him on this list for Culpepper and Reese.  We all have heard your reasons and I thought they were good enough for him to make it.

Michael Vick – I didn’t really have a problem with the Dog Fighting.  But this last shooting deal at 2 am at a party puts him on my list.

John Calipari – If you like anything about Collegiate athletics then you hate this man.  He is everything that is wrong with it. 

George Steinbrenner – Do I really need an explanation here?

Nolan Richardson – first of all he sues Arkansas for racial reasons and loses..  he had the worst  graduation rate of any coach, even the black ones – and now he is in the WNBA

Lane Kiffin – Kid Kiffin.  When Al Davis called him a worthless liar we all thought Al was just saying something crazy again…  Turns out Ol’ man Al actually knew what he was talking about here.

Craig and Adam James – Poster boy of why you should beat your kids ass..  We all have known this guy.  And we didn’t like him.  He may not make the final list but why not put him on the rough draft.

Terrell Ownes – Really!  Are you serious?  Can you be any more of a douche bag?  Every team you go to ends up not liking you.  You weren’t even a good fantasy wr last year.  So shut up.

Bud Sleig – Could their be a worse commissioner of a professional sport?  I can’t think of one.  He embraced steriods while everyone was watching the homerun battle between Mark and Sammy and then plays dumb.  Plus he looks creepy. 

Who else will make our list and who needs to come off? 

And NASCAR is rigged

You can't tell me that the race on Friday night didn't seem a little too well scripted. Come on now...Junior has been mired in a two year drought and couldn't find victory lane with a map and Jimmy Johnson driving him, but the night that he breaks out Sr's yellow & blue Wrangler paint scheme he suddenly remembers how to drive and win a race? If you believe this was all just coincidence, you probably also believe that Ric Flair could stand toe-to-toe with Rampage in the Octagon and have a chance at victory. NASCAR, just like wrastlin', is for entertainment only and should be taken with a grain of salt.

I am getting married.....

I figured since Joe can make posts about having another baby girl - god bless you man - I should be able to make a post about getting married this weekend. My girl and I leave for Jamaica on Thursday morning and will be getting married this Saturday afternoon on the beach. Everyone keeps asking me if I am nervous or am I ready to run and I don't get it. Am I missing something? We have lived together for two years and I think I know this woman pretty well, but evidently the minute I say "I Do" and put another ring on it, she is going to turn into a she-devil and destroy my life. Anyway, I figured that this cast of characters would be chock full of bad marriage advice and horror stories so please fire away.

It’s a Girl

We found out this morning that we are having another girl.  I think everyone that reads this blog understands just how bad I wanted a boy.  Going into it I had  all but convinced myself that the young lady that did the ultrasound would look at us and say, “Congratulations!  There is a huge penis!” but she didn’t and so I thought about why?  Or How?  How could we get pregnant 3 times ALL with a 50% chance of hitting a boy and never getting one?  I mean you are looking at 8:1 odds here of all 3 being the same sex…  If I put money 8:1 horse to win the Derby you can bet your sweet ass he wouldn’t.  My first reaction was all inside.  I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.  Like when Traci told me she was pregnant with this one and I responded, “Well  Fuck!!” and then hung up.  Not this time. When the lady explained that the small “hamburger” that we were looking at was our little girls tootoo and that IT was now a SHE – I don’t want to use the words “disappointed” so I will go with “less excited” – And why the hell would they call it a small hamburger?  Why not just go with beef curtains for Christ’s Sake?  Anyone who knows how much my little girls love their daddy know that I am not “disappointed” at all that I will have a third.  I am actually getting more and more excited the more I think about it.  And really?  It’s probably for the best that I don’t have a boy.  I would expect him to be a supreme athlete while handing him absolutely no athletic genes.  I would expect him to be a well behaved young man that is good in school while teaching him through my examples to do the opposite.   So after chewing on this for a couple of hours, I am pretty damn happy that I am having a third girl.  At least this way, it’s guaranteed that I will not have a faggot son.   

Friday Night

Last night was a special moment if you are a Dale Jr or Dale Sr fan.  I never liked Dale Sr but I am a Jr fan and last night was just fun to watch.  The wrangler #3 car, that Sr. won so many of his races on, was running near the front of the pack last night in Daytona with Jr behind the wheel.  This would be the last time that Jr would ever drive a car with a #3 on the side and this is how it ended.. 

Hopefully this will be the race that gets Jr going and he will be able to carry this energy into the Sprint Cup. 

The Braves did everything they could in the top of the 11th last night to give a win away to the Marlins.  Jonny Venters looked like a retard when they caught a Marlin on a squeeze play and when Chipper tossed Venters the ball to tag the runner on his way home Venters dropped the damn ball.  This is in the top of the 11th inning with 1 out and runners all over the place.  An out there is HUGE!! Marlins ended up scoring 1 and then Venters gets himself out of the inning.  Then the bottom comes up and here is how it ended…

I know we talked about it earlier in the year, but these guys just seem to be having fun.  And after I watched the race and turned it over this game It felt different.  After Venters made that mistake normally I would have been saying, “typical F@#$ing Braves”  but last night I felt good about our chances.  This is a different Braves team and if you are planning on watching in the post season when we are on our way to the World Series.. you may want to go ahead and jump on the band wagon now. 

I’m not sure if you guys have ever watched the

Not sure if you guys have ever heard of the Squidbillies on Adult Swim but it is one funny ass show.  Here is a little bit of an older show for you.

I know where some people could see this as making fun of Georgia fans but I DO NOT!!  I love this show and can not get enough of it. 

Evan's "lady friend". Nice tits.

That wasn't Damon Evans, this is.............

Can't believe John posted the wrong pic. Just here to help out my fellow bloggers.

DUMB ASS

Michael Vick is just a dip shit.  I have been very supportive of him, even after the dog fighting, claiming the lack of guidance that he has had growing up.  I am also very understanding of professional athletes that screw up.  I think it is just so much easier to get caught up in stupid things when you are making tons of money and almost everything you have ever done has been covered up for you.  Combine that with the media watching every move you make is just a recipe for disaster.  But I was wrong about Vick.  He obviously hasn’t learned anything.  The most important thing you do when changing your life style is changing your circle of influence.  You are the people that you associate with whether you like it or not and if you are at a party after midnight with thugs with hand guns then obviously you don’t understand this.  He has lost everything he has had and now has a 2nd chance and is going to screw it up…  Well, he disserves it.  and so do the vultures who latched on to him and never let go.  After his “homies” turned state on him faster than Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab on the dog fighting ring - I thought that he would have learned this really easy rule of circle of influence; but I was wrong.  The first thing Vick needs to do is not look at changing himself, its changing who he associates with. 

Damon Evans, really?

OK, lets get this straight. You are a 40 year old black male who is paid $550,000/year to be the Athletics Director at a top tier SEC program that happens to be your own alma matter. And you really don't have the common sense to not drink and drive? Evans will be fired I'm sure and he'll be lucky to land a job paying him 10% of his current salary.

We can all take something from this, when our day is going bad, just think of what Damon just did and it will make everything better instantly.

Now Who Is Gay???

When your gay your gay…

2010 LSU Tigers

North Carolina is the opener in Atlanta and I like the Tigers in this game.  Starting the season off 1-0

Vandy in Nashville is next.  This is probably a good game to fall back on after such a big opener in Atlanta.  Tigers go to 2-0

Mississippi State at home.  Last year Miss St threw 3 picks and lost a fumble and only got beat by 4 points.  I think State could make a statement in this game but I’m giving the edge to Baton Rouge at night.

West Virginia at home.  Coming off a nail bitter against Mississippi State – The Tigers play down to their competition again but squeak out another one moving their record to 4-0 and big time “over-rated” talks are starting.

Tigers take care of business against UT at home going to 5-0

Then Florida, in the Swamp, hands them their first loss of the season dropping them to 5-1

McNeese St 6-1

Auburn in Jordan-Hare Stadium.  Auburn will be coming off a loss to Arkansas and LSU will still have their heads held low from the loss in Gainesville.  Auburn wins at home moving LSU to 6-2

Then LSU will have an off week.  What better time to have a bye.  Coming in 1-2 of your last 3 games with the defending National Champs coming into your house with your old Head Coach…  LSU upsets Bama at home moving to 7-2

UL-Monroe 8-2

Ole Miss at home.  Last years embarassing ending will be replaced with a home win.  9-2

Arkansas in Little Rock.  Les Miles is in this game towards the end and just does something stupid to cost them the game and the Tigers finish 9-3.

PROGNOSTICATING and Friday notes

Since we all are so very good at predicting the future – I thought we would go through some of the schedules and not just throw out a win/loss record for a handful of teams but actually which teams win what games.  This should take a while and I’m sure that we will not be agreeing much but I would like for people to argue their reasons. 

Teams: SEC - LSU, Arkansas, Bama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina.  ACC – Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech

Reese, I understand that you are the minority on the this blog with your ACC affiliations so let me know if you would like us to dive into any other teams in your weak ass conference. 

The point of this is to see where everyone stands on each team.  This is not to get personal and just bash other teams (Starrett and Culpepper I am talking to you here) – I know that I always go into the season with high hopes and its nice (sometimes) to hear where other people stand.  Also, this will be able to give us a better understanding of other teams.  While I enjoy reading Pre-Season magazines, its totally different to hear it from a fans perspective. 

So Monday we will get into LSU. 

Also, Couple of things we hadn’t talked about any.  Vince Young slappin a bitch, Where is Labron going, Steven Strasburgh (spelling) is ridiculous, and The US Open. 

Vince Young is a Moron.  I don’t have a problem with looking at naked women for entertainment but if you are a multi millionaire couldn’t get your own your private show?  This is not who I would want running my football team.  He isn’t a stupid a Big Ben, or maybe he just hadn’t gotten caught as many times. 

Labron.  I think he is going to New York.  I think he is going to buy stock in Madison Square Gardens before he signs, I think he wants his brand to go global and their is no better city in the States to go Global than New York, and I think he knows that this will buy him some time on winning a championship. 

Steven.  If you guys have not watched this kid pitch you need too.  I’m talking the sports center highlights either.  Watch a game, its sick.

US Open.  I didn’t get a chance to watch the final day but I watch a large part of the first 3 days.  I was kind of pulling for Dustin Johnson just because he is from South Carolina but I was enjoying seeing Tiger starting to make a come back.  I didn’t care for the guy who won it.  And I also would like to say if you wear a white belt while playing golf I hope their is an asshole like me in the woods with a horn.  

Wimbledon Marathon

I'm sure you all saw the fifth set marathon between former UGA player John Isner vs Mahut at Wimbledon yesterday. I watched a good portion of this match and it was insane. Neither player could break serve and the match was halted at 59-59 in the fifth set due to darkness. The fifth set alone set a record for the longest match in ATP history. Sad thing is that the winner of this match is likely to get swept off the court in their 2nd round match due to fatigue alone. Hopefully Isner can take the Frenchman out and advance. He has the game to be dangerous at Wimbledon. He's around 6'-8" and can murder a serve. Here's to hoping the American wins and digs deep for some energy in the second round.

Hump Day… except at my house

SCORE!!! was what every single person today heard, read, or said.  I guess the US scored on a late goal to advance them into the round of 16 in the World Cup…  I’m sorry to say but I have not watched much World Cup… as in I have watched about 3 minutes and that is it.  Maybe I will get a little more excited about next week but I just don’t give a shit about it.

Quick fishing story from last weekend.  We were staying down at Boca Grande Fl (an island) and there was a really nice golf course.  We were pulling back into the docks around noonish and saw where we were going to be pulling right by a threesome teeing off.  When I say “right by” I mean literally with in 25 yards of these guys.  I then noticed that the boat had a small horn on it and right when we were riding by one of the guys was in the middle of his back swing and I yelled “HEY!!!” and blew the horn..  He was fucking pissed and I was laughing out loud which made him even more mad. 

I feel like total shit today.  I had strep throat last Thursday and I took some left over Antibiotics and got better for the weekend.  I then stopped taking them when I started feeling better and now I’m feeling the same way.  So back on the Antibiotics tonight.

I know the blog has been real shitty lately and we owe you, our readers, a better product.  We, as in you sorry pieces of shit that are supposed to be authors, need to step our game up and get this thing rolling strong going into football season.  So get off your asses and lets start some shit up.

Start doing research…  Will not be long before we start prodicting records of certain teams like GA, Bama, AU, GT, UT, etc…  So have your shit ready because we will be able to come back to this at the end of the season and see how everyone did.

ArKansas to the Big XII??

http://texas.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1095242

This is not suprising given Arkansas' past with the SWC, but would the money be there for them to actually leave te SEC? If they do, you know the Big XII will add another team, but who? Also, what does this do to the SEC? Who do they add? I'm off to get my pump on, so I'll return in the morning with my thoughts on this scenario. Outtie 5000 Leroys.

Dont underestimate the power of “rough talkin”

Mid Week Bull

2 people were arrested for sending over 30 women dressed in orange dresses to advertise for a beer company at the World Cup…  I’m sure I do not have the story correct but I needed a reason to put this picture on the blog..

LAKERS CELTICS game 7 tomorrow night..  who it is?  who it is?  Lakers are laying 7 points at the moment and I’m thinking its a double digit win.  How many times do we go into a game 7 with such high expectations and then get let down with a blow out?  I see this one the same way. 

I will be going Tarpon fishing this weekend and look to have a good time.  I am going to try my best (If I’m not just completely shit faced) to do a “mobile post” – the down side of this is that I will not have spell check so I will appear to be in even worse shape than really am, but I think it is worth the try.  So if you see some crazy shit on here over the next couple of days then that is why.

If any of you have ipods or mp3 players I plan on doing a very good post on the very best way to get music off the net for free and be able to put it on your ipod.  I showed this to Culpepper and he has not been the same since.  So stay tuned for that.

Authors of the blog need to step it up.  This blog is titled “SOUTHERN FRIED” – it is not MY blog it is OUR blog so step it up bitches.   Its not very hard to put some thoughts together and post them.  What are you scared of?  sounding stupid?  well I would hope that my dumbass takes that fear away.  So lets go. 

Tuesday’s gone with the wind

SEC From 1991 – 1996 Florida won the SEC 5 of 6 years.  Since then only Tennessee has won it back to back.  Well here recently it feels like the conference is very lop sided.  Chris Low writes on his ESPN blog this morning about how Florida and Alabama have only 3 loses in the last 2 years combined and 2 of 3 are to each other.  Is the SEC that Top Heavy or is this the year we have somebody sneak up?

CONFERENCES Well it appears that the Big 12 is just so happy that they are still going to be a conference that they will pay Texas anything they want.  They also said the hell with the conference championship game.  I guess since the Nebraska is gone from the north its probably not that bad of an idea..  I just thought the point of this whole deal was to get conferences to where they have a conference championship game…  so why doesn’t the Big 12 pick up Utah and TCU so they will stop bitching so much?

WORLD CUP I’m trying..  I really am.  But this shit is tough to watch.  and those God Damn horns are killing me – with that said, I think it’s ridiculous to ban them.  This isn’t our country and it’s not our sport – so shut up about the horns.  If you have tried to watch a game and struggled then I would suggest listening to it on ESPN radio.  The announcers tell you what is going on and when I’m watching it I don’t have clue. 

BRAVES the braves have a big game tonight against the Rays.  Believe it or not this could actually be the teams playing in the World Series this year. 

CELTICS LAKERS I picked the Lakers in 7 from the start and I’m sticking with it.  I think the Celtics legs will eventually go out from under them and Kobe (THE BEST PLAYER IN BASKETBALL) will come up big and win again.

“I guarantee it”

Pully, this is Dana White saying that he Guarantees that this was the iceman’s last fight..  I was with you in wanting a Ortiz fight to finish it off but Dana sounds pretty convinced that this is it for Chuck..